Well, I think I'm just going to start a new story, since im out of ideas. I'm updating my blog, in the middle of the night, after watching Jane By Design. How awesome my life is. Apparently not.
You know how people say you can't please society? That is so true. We always see on tv or in the internet or our favourite celebrity interview saying that we should be our self all the time. But now, in this cruel world. We just sometimes can't be. We see on youtube how teenagers are getting bullied, tortured, and even commit suicide. All of this mostly caused by the society itself. Teenagers try to be themselves, but they end up being stabbed back. Who can please the society now days? NO ONE.
For me, I really can't please the society. For me to please my family and teachers, that would be easy. But to please others? Oh God. The moment people see my physical look, they will instantly comment on everything that is something wrong with me. My face, my body, my appearance and even my voice. -.- geez, people are getting weirder. I don't know why students at my school wants to be popular What is so good about it? People knows your name, teachers know you. That is it? Eventually, people will tend to forget you. As for me, i try to stay from popularity as much as i can. I'm doing really great at that because people don't really talk to me for no reason. Sometimes being popular, people take advantage of you, which sucks. For example, Mr A is popular, and Mr B wants to be friend with Mr A so that he could get popularity just being friends with him. Especially at school, especially the '97's, they really want to get CHEAP POPULARITY. FUCK YOU ALL, we're being hate by the teachers because of the fuckers and bitches who doesn't want to respect other people and causing other people head ache. Even the innocent ones are being hate. At school, the form 3's are avoided by other forms and even teachers. Seriously, if i were the teachers, i would just expel them without further notice. Even I can't believe myself that my school, with the god damn strict rules could fall because of the form 3's. Thanks a lot, fuckers and bitches, ALL of us re being hate.
Other than that, these days, you can't easily trust anyone. Nevertheless if it is a boy or a girl. I don't want to jump in the topic deeper. From my point of view, it is really hard for me to trust anyone. I started being like this since I was 12. I learned that trust is easily broken and VERY HARD to earned. I find it hard to trust boys. I will judge them just from how they look. Seriously, I know I shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but it is really hard to change my principles. To me, boys are all the same, except my dad.(obviously) They will manipulate you, treat you like a piece of shit and leave you hanging like that. Most boys are cruel to me, or scared of me. I really have a scary aura inside of me that i make myself into. I make myself look like a monster so that people don't underestimate me and will not look at me by one eye. I let my feelings be as hard as stone. People wonder about that. Actually, they don't. They don't even care who i am. All they know me as a fat girl with a weird voice and thinks that I'm dumb. But what I just can't stand is, when someone calls me name, and exaggerate about it. Why can't you just call me names and just forget about it? I realize that I'm fat, not that smart and have weird personalities, but don't think you are so perfect. Every one has their own baggage, but i don't call you names right? So shut it.
I just want a life where I can be myself, without people judging me. The world isn't perfect eh? I wish I could have a big brother who I can count on when I need him, a boy best friend who understands, and living life without worries. To live life to the fullest. But then again, I'm constantly bullied mentally and I still try to get used to it. Sometimes at night, I pray to God that tomorrow will be a better day, and it helps. And some nights, I just lay on my bed thinking of my personalities that makes every one try avoid. It is really painful when you think you are lonely. and see others having the time of their life, with friends, or boyfriends or girlfriends and I'm here at home, writing a blog, that only a few people who reads it. What a life! I am still grateful of what I have and will always be grateful. Good night.
You know how people say you can't please society? That is so true. We always see on tv or in the internet or our favourite celebrity interview saying that we should be our self all the time. But now, in this cruel world. We just sometimes can't be. We see on youtube how teenagers are getting bullied, tortured, and even commit suicide. All of this mostly caused by the society itself. Teenagers try to be themselves, but they end up being stabbed back. Who can please the society now days? NO ONE.
For me, I really can't please the society. For me to please my family and teachers, that would be easy. But to please others? Oh God. The moment people see my physical look, they will instantly comment on everything that is something wrong with me. My face, my body, my appearance and even my voice. -.- geez, people are getting weirder. I don't know why students at my school wants to be popular What is so good about it? People knows your name, teachers know you. That is it? Eventually, people will tend to forget you. As for me, i try to stay from popularity as much as i can. I'm doing really great at that because people don't really talk to me for no reason. Sometimes being popular, people take advantage of you, which sucks. For example, Mr A is popular, and Mr B wants to be friend with Mr A so that he could get popularity just being friends with him. Especially at school, especially the '97's, they really want to get CHEAP POPULARITY. FUCK YOU ALL, we're being hate by the teachers because of the fuckers and bitches who doesn't want to respect other people and causing other people head ache. Even the innocent ones are being hate. At school, the form 3's are avoided by other forms and even teachers. Seriously, if i were the teachers, i would just expel them without further notice. Even I can't believe myself that my school, with the god damn strict rules could fall because of the form 3's. Thanks a lot, fuckers and bitches, ALL of us re being hate.
Other than that, these days, you can't easily trust anyone. Nevertheless if it is a boy or a girl. I don't want to jump in the topic deeper. From my point of view, it is really hard for me to trust anyone. I started being like this since I was 12. I learned that trust is easily broken and VERY HARD to earned. I find it hard to trust boys. I will judge them just from how they look. Seriously, I know I shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but it is really hard to change my principles. To me, boys are all the same, except my dad.(obviously) They will manipulate you, treat you like a piece of shit and leave you hanging like that. Most boys are cruel to me, or scared of me. I really have a scary aura inside of me that i make myself into. I make myself look like a monster so that people don't underestimate me and will not look at me by one eye. I let my feelings be as hard as stone. People wonder about that. Actually, they don't. They don't even care who i am. All they know me as a fat girl with a weird voice and thinks that I'm dumb. But what I just can't stand is, when someone calls me name, and exaggerate about it. Why can't you just call me names and just forget about it? I realize that I'm fat, not that smart and have weird personalities, but don't think you are so perfect. Every one has their own baggage, but i don't call you names right? So shut it.
I just want a life where I can be myself, without people judging me. The world isn't perfect eh? I wish I could have a big brother who I can count on when I need him, a boy best friend who understands, and living life without worries. To live life to the fullest. But then again, I'm constantly bullied mentally and I still try to get used to it. Sometimes at night, I pray to God that tomorrow will be a better day, and it helps. And some nights, I just lay on my bed thinking of my personalities that makes every one try avoid. It is really painful when you think you are lonely. and see others having the time of their life, with friends, or boyfriends or girlfriends and I'm here at home, writing a blog, that only a few people who reads it. What a life! I am still grateful of what I have and will always be grateful. Good night.
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